I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
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