She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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