Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Is Oprah even human
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize