Can i not drive my cunt home
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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