ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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