yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
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