You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
