Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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