Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
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You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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