he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
You're like the curious george of whores
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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