What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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