She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize