My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize