the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
