if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
