she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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