Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
