Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
