More tranny stories later!
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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