nut hugger
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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