he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
