soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
