My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
