so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
