hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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