Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
