if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
