Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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