i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
