he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Randomize