He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
There's even glitter on my cock...
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