is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize