I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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