There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
