Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize