You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
