We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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