Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
