The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
