what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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