Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
i need some magic done to my vagina
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I just gargled with NyQuil
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
