We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
