ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
i think my cat just said my name.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
