mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
