The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
