last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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