Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
