I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
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