Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
