I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Swine flu is the new snow day.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
