Where did you get a picture of my penis
Jerry, you need to find god
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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