I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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