But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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