2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This is classic penis vs brain.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
