There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
