$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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