i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
