Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
