i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
